As if the insipid commercialism of Valentine’s Day isn’t bad enough, let’s harken back to a time when used the occasion to rip one another limb from limb. Yay?
Archive for the ‘Personals’ Category
My spiteful valentine
Thursday, February 14th, 2013Woebegone sex
Wednesday, February 13th, 2013Bad sex is awful enough. But there’s something particularly pernicious about bad sex with a person who believes it to be good sex, am I right?
I’m not arguing for debasement. But the thing is, if you believe your herky-jerky moves to be smooth, then there’s little-to-no hope of improvement. Because, look, we’re not fucking in Lake Wobegon: Some of you are subpar.
My nerdy valentine
Saturday, February 9th, 2013As if you needed proof that Washingtonians are dorks, look we can even wonk-ify romance.
Crazy like a bride
Saturday, February 2nd, 2013Sorry, but planning your wedding years in advance — and I mean planning, not merely daydreaming — before you even have a husband seems to me like a good a guarantee as any that you won’t ever acquire one. Because you’re crazy.
Age discrimination?
Friday, January 18th, 2013It turns out that the reason that older men sleep with younger women is because women their own age think they are fat, wrinkly, and too old.
And you thought it was because they were horn dogs.
(Half) in the closet
Tuesday, January 15th, 2013I think we all — or many of us — can agree: There’s no reason why movie stars should have to share their sexuality, no more than non-famous people. Reciting lines in front of a camera doesn’t mean you lose your right to privacy, and stars have no responsibility to open up, at least not for purient reasons. Doing so in order to serve as a role model to others is admirable but not required.
That’s why I’m not sure how to feel about Jodie Foster kinda, sorta coming out during her speech at the Golden Globes the other night. She all but said she was a lesbian, all the while lamenting that sexuality is no longer a private matter. But at this point in her career, it kind of is for Foster. Frankly I can’t exactly see the impetutus. Just because she was standing in front of a microphone? It’s not like softball-pitching reporters who cover the award shows were going to force her to ‘fess up.
What’s more, I’m unsure of the message we’re all supposed to take away from her speech. Because, yes, years ago, movie stars didn’t get up and announce their sexuality. But some do, and do so not because they are being hounded but because they want to, admirably. She almost seems to chide: “I’m told that every celebrity is expected to honor the details of their private life with a press conference, a fragrance and a primetime reality show.”
More confusing, however, is her portrait of the past as “very quaint days when a fragile young girl would open up to trusted friends and family and co-workers.” Maybe the young girl would guard that information, keep it close, because, hey, in those “quaint days” it wasn’t okay to be gay?
I resolve…
Sunday, January 13th, 2013My new New Year’s resolution: To not be intimidated by the coolness of other people’s resolutions!