The Gimlet Eye

I’m flying across the Pacific, so it seems only right to break out the back episodes of Lost. Coincidentally, I came across a brief Q&A with Titus Wlliver, aka the Man in Black, who had this say about the weird and random fraternity of Lost viewers:

I’ve discovered that the demographic of the Lost audience is all over the place. I literally had a very articulate, though highly impaired, homeless man say to me, “Smokey, I love you! What’s happening with Jacob?” Here’s a guy living on the street, but he finds a way to watch Lost! And I’m looking at him, thinking, Your priorities are completely ass-backward!

Ah, Chelsea, I’ve missed you lately. Actually, not so much because, although I haven’t caught your show, you are Every. Where.

I find Chelsea Handler funny, but she also makes me a bit bitter. See, I am blonde, half Jewish, and caustic. But while she rides being a smart-ass to a late-night talk show and a Times best-seller, I am only secretly inappropriate. My monologue is entirely interior.

As consolation, I’m left to hold onto my college degree, my superior skin elasticity, and the certainty that only lightweight lushes swig non-Russian vodka.