Look, I think I’ve been pretty upfront about my mixed feelings about D.C. Love: springtime, international flavour, culture, culture, and more culture, buzziness. Hate: Cliquishness, tourists, lack of decent food past 10, terrible local news coverage….
Add to the latter list, off-the-mark critiques. As I say, there are days when I loathe this place. I’m hardly immune to its faults. But that means actually getting those faults correct. And since, in this point-counterpoint, the defence of D.C. is there’s not too much dog crap on the street (!?), I suppose someone has to stand up for the city’s honour. Or at least refute these dumb-ass criticisms (except the humidity — that’s spot-on):
- As any good reporter knows, you need three examples to have a trend. Jeez! Seriously, one asshole does not an entire city assholes make.
- Yes, it’s lamentable that mean people were catty about a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton. But she’s 32 now! Nasty comments from two decades ago don’t say
muchanything about Washington today.
- In the same vein, really — Monica Lewinsky’s spectre hovering over today’s interns? Please. They were in primary school during l’affaire de la robe bleue.
- Also, required pantyhose? I don’t think I own pantyhose. I’m not making like strolling down K Street is akin to walking a Paris runway, but this whole Ann Taylor-sack trope is old. There’s been a distinct turnaround in the city’s fashion sensibility in recent years (as one measure, check out the growing number of D.C.-area fashion bloggers).
- What the fuck are “beautification lotions,” and why do they take until midnight to apply?
- Definiton of nerd: “an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person.” Note: not genius, not Mensa scholar, not someone who “build[s] rockets or calculate[s] the probability of Earthlike planets in another galaxy.” Just a dork. Say, an Ann Taylor-wearing, Chelsea Clinton-bashing asshole who spends valuable going-out time slathering on “beautification lotions.”